Insults: Your Momma

Your momma is so fat:

• When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
• When she dances she makes the band skip.
• When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
• Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
• Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
• Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
• She has to iron her pants on the driveway.
• The shadow of her ass weighs 100 pounds.
• The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
• "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
• All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR your mama"
• When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
• She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
• She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
• She could sell shade.
• When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
• She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
• She went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
• Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.